I literally said these words yesterday…
“I am going back to bed.”
And… I did. It didn’t last long and I was back up to put out more fires… and my day was quickly unraveling into the death spin of frustration, sadness and asking the question…
“Am I doing something wrong?”
Like… maybe I should just run off with my family, grow my hair long, rock the pony tail, and buy an abandoned jet ski business on an island somewhere.
Sounds good… but I would probably end up like Jonah plucked off the jet ski by a big fish and spit out on the shores of my hometown… Wickenburg, Arizona. (Note: Jonah didn’t have a jet ski. He was on a paddleboard.)
But I can’t run because my current reality is what the Lord wants from me today.
He wants me to endure and continue on and have bad days and put out fires and learn what it means to lead and be discouraged and to want to give up and keep going. You see, that is all part of the process of growth. You have to go through the bad days so that you can appreciate the good ones.
I don’t like it. I never have and I doubt that I ever will. I want to have everyone love me all the time. I want to be a blessing in everyone’s life. I want to be a vessel of hope and change and love and “good stuff”. But, every now and then you end up in the valley and you are ready to throw in the towel and you look around and you are alone.
Or are you?
Whenever I am in the valley, I always feel like I’m all alone and God always shows up bigger than life. He shows up in different ways, but He always shows up. Yesterday, He showed up through my wife.
It wasn’t a big moment. No one else would have noticed anything out of the ordinary. We sat on the floor and talked about life and direction and where we were going. We took a minute to dream. I got out of my current place and was able to sit above it with her and look down at the greater picture and… the weight began to lift from my heart and the darkness started to wane.
God knew what I needed in that moment and He brought it… through my wife.
You see, God places people in your life for a reason. There are people in your circle who have the ability to be used by God… but you have to let them in. You have to open your heart wide enough to let them shine in. Yesterday, I’m happy I did. Today, I feel better because of it.
Embrace the bad days… they help you be you. They allow you to be more empathetic when someone you love is having a bad day. They allow compassion to rise and they also allow you to remember that you are human… just like everyone else.
I woke up this morning a little more excited about life. I still have to deal with stuff, but I don’t have to do it alone. God’s with me… but so is my wife. And, if I don’t know anything else… I know that the three of us can do some pretty awesome stuff together. If you ever doubt that, just look at this….
However, a season in the valley with God is so much better than a lifetime on the mountaintop without Him.